Comprehension
by LivingLifeAsAMusical
Summary: Oneshot. Elphaba finds herself befuddled and confused over her new feelings for a certain blonde when said blonde catches her in an intense stare. Much more to it than that as well. Elphaba's POV. Gelphie Warning, girl on girl love.


She looks at me from across the room and I swear my breathing hitches and all my comprehension is shot to hell as her blue eyes pierce through me. Of course this isn't the first time I have noticed those eyes and the person that goes a long with them; she is my roommate after all, but I have tried to ignore the growing need inside of me. The indescribable feelings that pulse through me and baffle my mind occur so frequently, I am beginning to wonder if I shall act on them one day. And then on that note, I don't know what I am feeling as I have never felt anything like this before so how would I act? I get a tingly feeling in my stomach when she is near or comes in to my line of sight. It makes me feel sick, like that sinking feeling that occurs when you know something bad is going to happen and at the same time…it makes me feel warm and calm, as if nothing in the world could bother me as long as she is near. Her eyes, those sparking blue pools that I could drown in, seem to be made to look deep inside of me and I can never break her gaze once she locks in on me. They bore through the mask I wear in front of everyone. They see me for me in all my glory…hurt, wounded, and alone. And as if her eyes weren't enough, her lush lips curve into a million-dollar smile that is the most wonderful thing in the world besides her laughter, which perplexes me as much of the rest of her. Her vocal chords titter with a giggle and something along the lines of a guffaw but not quite as hearty as such. In the beginning, it was the most obnoxious sound I had ever heard and now, I find myself waiting to hear it. She does these things to me without even touching me. When she does touch me, I almost die with longing. Whether it is a comforting hand, a tickle fight, or an accident, my heart beat begins to race and I feel faint with the sensation. Why do I need to have her near? What is going on with me? What is this feeling? Or to be reasonable, what are these feelings?

And then, she looks away and it kills me when I am not looking at her. I feel empty and lost without her stare and presence. I look down at my tray of food and notice that I have stopped in the middle of the cafeteria. People are starring but then again, that's nothing new. She turns to leave but looks at me one last time. As she turns away for good, she makes a subtle hand gesture for me to follow her and my pulse immediately begins rushing. I hurriedly dump my tray and begin moving forward as she turns and leaves. What else can I do? I feel as if I am no longer the owner of my body. My steps seem heavy and it feels like forever before I finally reach the dorm room. I reach out to turn the door knob, my hand shaking and palms sweating. I take a few deep breaths before entering the room. My breathing slows a little and I walk in. I can't let her see that I am about to fall apart with all these confusing thoughts. I put the mask back on as I walk in the room, resuming my usual ways of being detached and calm. I instantly spot her standing by the fire, adding a log to it. It is at this that I shiver, feeling the cool air of a winter afternoon seeping through the windows. My eyes are caught on her and my mind tells me to look for other things to catch my eye. Just as I am going to look away from her figure, her blonde curly hair swishes and those blue orbs pierce mine once again. I shudder again and not from the cold this time…maybe it was visible, maybe it wasn't.

She opens her mouth to speak and I am immediately alert, "Elphie, we need to talk."

This can't be good. I mean, if she felt these things I have been feeling, wouldn't she say something different. She must know I feel something for her, whatever this something is. I have let on and now, my only friend is going to tell me to go away and leave her alone. I prepare myself for the words and I stiffen a significant amount. I look away, avoiding her eye contact on purpose. I can't bear to look in her eyes as she sends me away. I walk slowly over to my bed, sitting on it and looking down at the hard floor. I have a knot in my throat but I push it down enough to speak in a steady voice, "Okay…go ahead." I will not cry in front of her. I hear a small shuffling noise and the weight goes down on my bed. My pulse quickens with the realization that she is beside me. I close my eyes as I feel her fingers entwine with my own. A jolt of electricity shoots up my arm at her touch and I inhale sharply. To my surprise, I hear the same intake of breath from her and I turn to look at her face.

She speaks before I can think any further, "See, Elphie that right there is what I want to talk about. I can't…I can't fathom the feelings going on inside of me and I have to know something. I want something…I am searching for something but I can't….actually, I need to do something to figure it out…"

I exhale only to inhale sharply once more at her words. Perhaps there is hope? Or maybe the action is to get away from me. I nod simply, not finding words to express myself and my eyes finally meet with hers. I am filled with warmth as their blue pours into my soul, leaving me refreshed and clean. After a moment of silence, I blink only to find the face I dream about closer to my own than it was before I blinked. It seems that Galinda just moved closer to my face but I can't be sure. What if it was I that moved closer? That is nonsense as I am mounted to my spot, my muscles are tensing. At this moment, I see that she has scooted closer to me and I feel my eyes bulge a little at what I think is about to happen. I find myself leaning in without control, as if I am being pulled into her lips. She stops moving inches away from my mouth and I can feel her soft breath on my face. It shoots chills up my spine and I feel the hairs stand up on my neck. My muscles have contracted to the point that every inch of my body burns with exertion. In this moment, even with everything I have went through in my eighteen years of existence, I am more afraid than I ever have been.

"Can I…kiss you, Elphie?" and her small fingers graze my cheek.

Am I dreaming? I can't speak. The part of me that forms speech patterns is frozen in this moment, afraid to speak because that would mean gaining my bearings which in turn could mean waking up from this dream. My eyes are still wide and I manage a half nod to the girl in front of me. I feel her fingers gently trace down my bare arms until they come to a stop at my hand, tracing small circles and finally grabbing my hand. My breathing hitches once more as she moves again. I can't look and my eyes close involuntarily as the pink lips close in on my green tinged ones. Inches away; centimeters away; down to an immeasurable distance from the closeness and then I feel them against my own.

My eyes instantly snap open at the torrent of emotions and longing that rips through my entire body. I notice that we are sitting almost immobile, and for seconds after, we still sit without moving, too shocked by the feeling. Is she feeling anything or is she going to run screaming bloody murder down the hall? Stiff from sitting still and keeping my muscles tensed, I move and cause my lips to press further into hers. The immobility, like a spell, is broken and I feel her arms wrap around me, her hands grasping my neck and pulling me closer. My muscles involuntarily relax and they hurt from the strain of before. My hands wander of their own accord to her springy curls and tangle themselves in the silky locks. I am engulfed by a sea of colors as I let my tongue trace her lower lip and my lips part as she moves hers open too. Another life shattering jolt is sent through my body all the way down to my core as my tongue makes contact with hers. I moan at the sensation and I hear it simultaneously from Galinda. I can't breathe and I pull away just like she does. She is flushed a crimson red and I find her even more beautiful, hair slightly mussed from my fingers. I can only imagine what shade of green I have turned, most likely a crimson emerald color. My breathing is ragged and I breathe in tandem with Galinda's short raspy breaths. "Did you find what you were looking for?" I manage to stutter, afraid for the answer.

"Oh Elphie!" and I do not have time to think as the pink lips crash against my own again. This one is slow, explorative, and deep. I pull away slowly after seconds, minutes, hours, or what felt like a lieftime, holding her delicate head between my hands and resting my forehead on hers. She speaks in a whisper, "You are everything I need and more… I just wasn't sure you felt the same way."

I feel tears gather in my eyes but I hold them back, "Galinda, I…," the one word I knew I wanted to say was stuck in my throat, afraid to release itself from fear. Fear because in truth, I have never loved anyone. Love…is that what this is? I didn't think I was capable of it…I didn't think I was capable of feeling anything. But this was definitely something and it was wonderful. "I can't describe the feelings I get when I am around you. I…I can't define it."

I watch as that magnificent grin graces her features, "That's because love can't be defined, my Elphie," and she embraces me, squeezing harder than I thought possible for her small frame. I slowly wrap my arms around her and hug her back. This is all new to me….no one has ever even wanted to touch me and here is Galinda, wanting to kiss me and do…do whatever else accompanies that.

"So…is that what this is? Is this love? Surely you know Galinda." I asked unsure of myself.

"Well, I suppose it is…I am just as new to it as you," Galinda said timidly.

"You mean out of all the dates you have been on and all the boyfriends you have had, you have never been in love?" I was shocked.

"You can go on dates all you want Elphie but that doesn't mean you love the person you go with. Right now, here in this room with you, is the strongest I have ever felt about someone. I remember when I told a boy I loved him once and I cried when he broke up with me but now I know that it wasn't love because this feeling I have now is magnified tenfold from that one," she finished and looked at the floor, a small blush taking over her features.

"I have never been loved…by anyone. My own father only touched me when he had to and my mother died and she didn't like me much either when she was alive. So I guess that is why I asked you if that's what it was because it's hard to know if you have never been shown it in anyway," her blue eyes turn back up at me and tears glisten in her eyes. "And you don't have to be embarrassed for saying what you said because even though I don't know what it is, this is the strongest thing I have ever felt toward one person and it's the happiest I have been in my whole life."

I look at her, tears streaming down her face at this point. Although I know the risk of touching the liquid, I reach out and wipe them off, only wincing a little. "Elphie, you'll hurt yourself!" and she jerked back.

I grab her face, still wiping the tears off of her cheeks with my thumbs, "I don't care…I-I love you Galinda."

Her tears only flowed harder and she kisses my lips once more, a slight burning occurring from her tears on my lips. "I love you too, Elphie…" and I kiss her again, holding her beautiful head between my hands, wanting this moment to last for the rest of my life.


End file.
